scotte; scotte with no last name's Journal [entries|friends|calendar]
scotte; scotte with no last name

[ website | omg!!1 ]
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LOTS OF DRUNK [25 Nov 2003|12:04am]
[ mood | DRUNK ]
[ music | Andrew Hill - Flight 19 ]

You know, sometimes I wonder if I really know what the jazz is all about.

But then I remember that I do.



Anyway, here's a pretty story that you like called "The Falling Girl" by Dino Buzzati.

Marta was nineteen. She looked out over the roof of the skyscraper, and seeing the city below shining in the dusk, she was overcome with dizziness.

The skyscraper was silver, supreme and fortunate in that most beautiful and pure evening, as here and there the wind stirred a few fine filaments of cloud against an absolutely incredible blue background. It was in fact the hour when the city is seized by inspiration and whoever is not blind is swept away by it. From that airy height the girl saw the streets and the masses of buildings writhing in the long spasm of sunset; and at the point where the white of the houses ended, the blue of the sea began. Seen from above, the sea looked as if it were rising. And since the veils of the night were advancing from the east, the city became a sweet abyss burning with pulsating lights. Within it were powerful men, and women who were even more powerful, furs and violins, cars glossy as onyx, the neon signs of nightclubs, the entrance halls of darkened mansions, fountains, diamonds, old silent gardens, parties, desires, affairs, and above all, that consuming sorcery of the evening which provokes dreams of greatness and glory.

Seeing these things, Marta hopelessly leaned out over the railing and let herself go. She felt as if she were hovering in the air, but she was falling. Given the extraordinary height of the skyscraper, the streets and squares down at the bottom were very far away. Who knows how long it would take here to get there. Yet the girl was falling.

At that hour the terraces and balconies of the top floors were filled with rich and elegant people who were having cocktails and making silly conversation. They were scattered in crowds, and their talk muffled the music. Marta passed before them and several people looked out to watch her.

Flights of that kind (mostly by girls, in fact) were not rare in the skyscraper and they constituted an interesting diversion for the tenants; this was also the reason why the price of those apartments was very high.
The sun had not yet completely set and it did its best to illuminate Marta's simple clothing. She wore a modest, inexpensive spring dress bought off the rack. Yet the lyrical light of the sunset exalted it somewhat, making it chic.

From the millionares' balconies, gallant hands were stretched out toward her, offering flowers and cocktails. "Miss, would you like a drink?.......Gentle Butterfly, why not stop a minute with us?"

She laughed, hovering, happy (but meanwhile she was falling): "No, thanks, friends. I can't. I'm in a hurry."

"Where are you headed?" they asked her.

"Ah, Don't make me say," Marta answered, waving her hands in a friendly good-bye.

A young man, tall, dark, very distinguished, extended an arm to snatch her. She liked him. And yet Marta quickly defended herself: "How dare you, sir?" and she had time to give him a little tap on the nose.

The beautiful people, then, were interested in her and that filled her with satisfaction. She felt fascinating, stylish. On the flower-filled terraces, amid the bustle of waiters in white and the bursts of exotic songs, there was talk for a few minutes, perhaps less, of the young woman who was passing by (from top to bottom, on a vertical course). Some thought her pretty, others thought her so-so, everyone found her interesting.

"You have your entire life before you," they told her, "why are you in such a hurry? You still have time to rush around and busy yourself. Stop with us for a little while, it's only a modest little party among friends, really, you'll have a good time."

She made an attempt to answer but the force of gravity had already quickly carried her to the floor below, then two, three, four floors below; in fact, exactly as you gaily rush around when you are just nineteen years old.

Of course the distance that separated her from the bottom, that is, from street level, was immense. It is true that she began falling just a little while ago, but the street always seemed very far away.

In the meantime, however, the sun had plunged into the sea; one could see it disappear, transformed into a shimmering reddish mushroom. As a result, it no longer emitted its vivifying rays to light up the girl's dress and make her a seductive comet. It was a good thing that the windows and terraces of the skyscraper were almost all illuminated and
the bright reflections completely gilded her as she gradually passed by.


Now Marta no longer saw just groups of carefree people inside the apartments; at times there were even some businesses where the employees, in black or blue aprons, were sitting at desks in long rows. Several of them were young people as old as or older then she, and weary of the day by now, every once in a while they raised their eyes from their duties and from typewriters. In this way they too saw her, and a few ran to the windows. "Where are you going? Why so fast? Who are you?" they shouted to her. One could divine something akin to envy in their words.

"They're waiting for me down there," she answered, "I can't stop. Forgive me." And again she laughed, wavering on her headlong fall, but it wasn't like her previous laughter anymore. The night had craftily fallen and Marta started to feel cold.

Meanwhile, looking downward, she saw a bright halo of lights at the entrance of a building. Here long black cars were stopping (from the great distance they looked as small as ants), and men and women were getting out, anxious to go inside. She seemed to make out the sparkling of jewels in that swarm. Above the entrance flags were flying.

They were obviously giving a large party, exactly the kind that Marta dreamed of ever since she was a child. Heaven help her if she missed it. Down there opportunity was waiting for her, fate, romance, the true inauguration of her life. Would she arrive in time?

She spitefully noticed that another girl was falling about thirty meters above her. She was decidedly prettier than Marta and she wore a rather classy evening gown. For some unknown reason she came down much faster than Marta, so that in a few moments she passed by her and disappeared below, even though Marta was calling her. Without doubt she would get to the party before Marta; perhaps she had a plan all worked out to supplant her.

Then she realized that they weren't alone. Along the sides of the skyscraper many other young women were plunging downward, their faces taut with the excitement of the flight, their hands cheerfully waving as if to say: look at us, here we are, entertain us, is not the world ours?

It was a contest, then. And she only had a shabby little dress while those other girls were dressed smartly like high-fashion models and some even wrapped luxurious mink stoles tightly around their bare shoulders. So self-assured when she began the leap, Marta now felt a tremor growing inside her; perhaps it was just the cold; but it may have been fear too, the fear of having made an error without remedy.

It seemed to be late at night now. The windows were darkened one after another, the echoes of music became more rare, the offices were empty, young men no longer leaned out from the windowsills extending their hands. What time was it? At the entrance to the building down below-which in the meantime had grown larger, and one could now distinguish all the architectural details-the lights were still burning, but the bustle of cars had stopped. Every now and then, in fact, small groups of people came out of the main floor wearily drawing away. Then the lights of the entrance were also turned off.

Marta felt her heart tightening. Alas, she wouldn't reach the ball in time. Glancing upwards, she saw the pinnacle of the skyscraper in all its cruel power. It was almost completely dark. On the top floors a few windows here and there were still lit. And above the top the first glimmer of dawn was spreading.

In a dining recess on the twenty-eighth floor a man about forty years old was having his morning coffee and reading his newspaper while his wife tidied up the room. A clock on the sideboard indicated 8:45. A shadow suddenly passed before the window.

"Alberto!" the wife shouted. "Did you see that? A woman passed by."

"Who was it?" he said without raising his eyes from the newspaper.

"An old woman," the wife answered. "A decrepit old woman. She looked frightened."

"It's always like that," the man muttered. "At these low floors only falling old women pass by. You can see beautiful girls from the hundred-and-fiftieth floor up. Those apartments don't cost so much for nothing."

"At least down here there's the advantage," observed the wife, "that you can hear the thud when they touch the ground."

"This time not even that," he said, shaking his head, after he stood listening for a few minutes. Then he had another sip of coffee.

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Crossposted fromz livejournal and bk, [16 Nov 2003|05:18pm]
[ music | Gun Club, The - Sex Beat ]

Dear Mr. Santa Claus,
This year to celebrate Christmas I would like to request that you give me,

drum sticks
a tambourine add-on for my kit
CDs or records
(4 or 5 of these would easily make me content):
Back From The Grave Vo. 1
Back From The Grave Vo. 2
Back From The Grave Vo. 8
Black Keys, The - Thickfreakness
Black Keys, The - Big Come Up
Buddy Guy - Buddy's Baddest: The Best Of Buddy Guy
Buddy Guy - Buddy's Blues (Chess 50th Anniversary Collection)
Clash, The - London Calling
Cramps, The - Psychedelic Jungle/Gravest Hits
Cramps, The - Stay Sick!
Dick Dale - Better Shred Than Dead: The Dick Dale Anthology
The Essential Pebbles Collection, Vol. 1
Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About 60's Mind Expansive Punkadelic Garage Rock Ins
Gories, The - I Know You Fine, But How You Doin'
Gruesomes, The - Gruesomology 1985-1989
Jimi Hendrix - Are You Experienced?
Jimi Hendrix - Axis: Bold As Love
John Lee Hooker - The Very Best Of John Lee Hooker
Johnny Cash - The Essential Johnny Cash
Junior Wells - It's My Life, Baby!
Anything by Laika and the Cosmonauts
Led Zeppelin - Early Days: The Best of Led Zeppelin, Vol. 1
Little Walter - His Best : The Chess 50th Anniversary Collection
Anything by Los Straitjackets
Magic Sam - West Side Soul
Misfits, The – Walk Among Us
Anything at all by the Mummies
Nuggets: Original Artyfacts from the First Psychedelic Era, 1965-1968
Otis Spann - Good Morning Mr. Blues
Porch Ghouls, The - Bluff City Ruckus
Richard Hell - Time
Sonics, The - Psycho-Sonic
Sonics, The - Here Are The Sonics!!!
Sonny Boy Williamson - His Best
Soledad Brothers - Live
Iggy and the Stooges, The - California Bleeding [LIVE]
Iggy and the Stooges, The - Raw Power
White Stripes, The - Elephant
White Stripes, The - White Blood Cels
Harmonica(s) (maybe with some sort of....... book so I can teach myself how to play…?)
Nice headphones
Posters:
A Clockwork Orange
Full Metal Jacket

John Lee Hooker
Books
Observatory Mansions
American Psycho
The Restaurant at the End of the Universe
Catcher In The Rye

Anything by Philip Larkin
Edgar Allen Poe Prose
Lord of the Flies
The Rum Diary: The Long Lost Novel
Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas
1984

At this point, Santa, I really have no idea how much this is all coming to or how the $$$ situation is at the North Pole. I certainly hope I'm not out of line with these requests... and if you have any more elves than usual... or children are making less demands these days; I would most certainly appreciate one of the following:
a hammock
a fancy/fast CD burner
a new Discman/mp3 player
speakers for record player
a new bass pedal
or just random crap that would make a nice addition to my room… like a dead animal... no seriously, I think a stuffed fox would really eccentuate the lighting in my room)

And if there are any around the shop,
an english cock and ball trap as well as a leather cock sheath.

Thank you very much Santa.

Yours always,
Scotte

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[13 Nov 2003|11:50pm]
Andddddddddd to see what I've been up to lately....

read my blue kaffee account journal deal.

http://bluekaffee.cjb.net/journal.php?user_id=284

It's pretty nonsensical. But you'll get the opportunity to see dildos, learn about vaginal odor and read my evil plots... like you would.
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Long time no see, THOU SOPPY CUNT! [13 Nov 2003|11:35pm]
[ mood | accomplished ]
[ music | Led Zeppelin - Since I've Been Loving You ]

Today was the worst day of this year. And I owe it all to wearing Soft&Dri Zensational Spring from Gilette for women... and ah... not taking my medication the previous night.

These are the symptoms I endured today...
-zensational spring smell
-dry mouth
-fatigue
-headache
-tremor
-sweating
-vertigo
-sensory disturbances
-dysphoria
-fasciculation
and
-somnolence

YAY

On numerous occasions I almost burst into tears or screamed and clawed at the wall like some sort of... ratlike creature with a... wall-clawing... agenda.

The zensational spring smell did not help!!

In enterprise class I spent my time writing "Scotte needs affection" like 45 times on the page in small small letters. Near the end it got dragged out into massive sloppy letters spanning the length of the page. And then I wrote various crap like Ow Ow Owwwwww Oowwwwowowowwwwwwwwo and a bunch of other incoherent jibba jabba as T would put it. Then I slammed my head against the desk. Then I whipped myself in the face numerous times with my headphones. Surprisingly it felt nice. CAN SOEMEONE SAY MASOCHISM!?!!111

Anyway, overall it just wasn't a good day. Lots of other poopy things happened and throughout the entire day I was fucking famished. There were, however, some high risk maneuvers from the rail at lunch time including a flying butt-smash to Uno's spine. He later got me back. DRAT YOU!

The only affection I want now is a sweet sweet boob massage... (for me)

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[22 Sep 2003|03:52am]
[ mood | insomniac feelin' alone blues ]
[ music | Cramps - I Was A Teenage Werewolf ]

Hugz plz

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[15 Sep 2003|04:43am]
Ten years ago, on a cold dark night
Someone was killed, 'neath the town hall light
There were few at the scene, but they all agreed
That the slayer who ran, looked a lot like me

The judge said son, what is your alibi
If you were somewhere else, then you won't have to die
I spoke not a word, thou it meant my life
For I'd been in the arms of my best friend's wife

She walks these hills in a long black veil
She visits my grave when the night winds wail
Nobody knows, nobody sees
Nobody knows but me

Oh, the scaffold is high and eternity's near
She stood in the crowd and shed not a tear
But late at night, when the north wind blows
In a long black veil, she cries ov're my bones

She walks these hills in a long black veil
She visits my grave when the night winds wail
Nobody knows, nobody sees
Nobody knows but me
Nobody knows, nobody sees
Nobody knows but me
2 pressed charges. | post comment

[18 Aug 2003|12:38pm]
[ mood | excited ]

All Ages Show @ the St. John's Curling Club
Today (Monday, August 18th)
Show starts 5:30
A measly $6

w/
Skull Face and Others
Envision (Halifax youth crew legends backed up by grind to five minus pete)
Not Enough Bullets
get stabbed
taxidriver.
Mach Tiver (Ottawa screamo/shotmaker style rock... you have to see this band! They're a fucking two piece!)
The Creature (Pennsylvania emotional pop punk kinda thing... you will jizz)

I'm not lying when I say that this show will be ####ing incredible. Don't miss it! If you do, black death is upon you!

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[05 Aug 2003|09:43am]
You know what would make today rad? If I got a call from a telemarketer today. I'm not even kidding.
3 pressed charges. | post comment

ALL AGES SHOW [14 Jul 2003|07:27am]
[ mood | awake ]
[ music | Killing, The - If You Loved This World... ]

There's a show on Sunday for Colette's birthday.

Sunday, July 20th @ St. John's Curling Club (up stairs)
$4.00 ($3.00 if you wear a clever costume)
4-9PM

featuring the music of:

TMFI
Day Of The Damned (Super Joint Ritual style music)
Zombie Etiquette
Brutis Bit Me (baby Langor)
Commoname
and the all knowing Nerve Attack

It's a costume party type deal. I'm thinking I have to go as a zombie for ZE but I'm not totally sure if I will. A lot of other people are going to be zombies. Whoah. I know who I'm going to go as... >:)

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Today was a very fun day. The Cowan Three with Mark Greeley... that'll be such a day. [06 Jul 2003|04:40am]
[ mood | restless ]
[ music | Wesley Willis - Cut That Mullet ]

I'm going to begin making a conscious effort to keep a feminist frame of mind from now on. I'm realizing now that I'm not taking my belief in women's rights half as serious as I should be. I've been noticing a lot of sexism and homophobia lately and it frustrates the fucking shit out of me. Curtis, Steve and I are going to start that avante gard crassy band soon and I'm thinking sexual politics would be a wonderful thing to involve in it. Especially in an arty, insane kind of way. I think that maybe the all ages scene and just plain local everywhere needs to be exposed to this kind of thinking. It's really too bad that this is the way it is, but now it's seriously time for a change.

In related news, I'd love to go for a walk right now. Moreso in the company of someone I've been thinking about lately. I kind of just want to know more about her and the way she thinks. I kind of really do, actually. It's setting me in a rather lonely mood. Summer 2003 positively can't be spent lacking any sort of experience similar or relating to the movie "Grease". Really, tomorrow I have spontaneous song and dance planned. Figure that one out...? I just want to write a love song so badly. The concept of making art about somebody excites me so much. It's such an extreme form of flattery in my opinion.

Oh fuck. This entry hasn't become one of those whiney rants begging someone in the world to love me has it? Oh fuck. Oh fuck. Seriously.

I wonder what the boys would think about TMFI applying for PAC. I wonder what PAC would think about TMFI applying. It'd probably be a grave mistake, we're not a very good band. Kyle doesn't even like it very much anymore and it seems most of the kids in the scene look at us like we're a joke or something.

Good news... I'm not bi-polar. I was very concerned when reading about side affects from Effexor that I may be target to Bi-Polar disorder. All of the symptoms were there, especially in hypo-mania. But after a great doctor's appointment... ah... kinda... it was discovered that I'm very much fine. Good thing, I was concerned that I'm not really as quirky or as original as I might think myself to be. Perhaps I just feel this way for I've been lonely in the past few days. I'm so pseudo-emo.

I wish I got recognition for something. I used to get called "sweet" all of the time. Have I turned into a sour asshole? Has all of my empathy left me for dead? I'm not sure... but I haven't been feeling top-notch with myself lately and I intend on doing something about it.

My hands feel too weak to continue typing right now. I'm off to catch some rest. Goodbye, indifferent world.

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I miss Phil, his name is Phil. [01 Jul 2003|09:55pm]
[ mood | lonely ]
[ music | Not Enough Bullets - If Life's A Sport, I'm Tonya Harding ]



Look at his butt! It's so cute!

The end.

1 pressed charge. | post comment

[29 Jun 2003|09:31pm]
Hoot hoot.
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Jazz sure does set the mood... [28 Jun 2003|11:09am]
[ mood | amazed ]
[ music | John Coltrane - I'm Old Fashioned ]

Je vous donnerai la lune.

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So... pissed off... [23 Jun 2003|06:27am]
Some people have really fucked up fetish's that really scare/disgust me. I just watched snuff by accident and not only am I turned off of all things sexual, I want to beat the persons responsible to a bloody death.

I'm actually on the verge of tears right now.

What's wrong with this world???
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I laughed... I cried... [22 Jun 2003|07:48pm]
[ mood | accomplished ]
[ music | Demented Are Go - Mongloid ]

FAIRY TALE

Once upon a time there has a young CHIROPRACTOR named HENRY. He was POO SPRINTING in the YELLOW forest when he met SWOLLEN VINCENT, a run-away LIGHTHOUSE KEEPER from the SHINY Queen MORTICIA.

HENRY could see that SWOLLEN VINCENT was hungry so he reached into his BOX and give him his BEAUTIFUL MEAT PIE. SWOLLEN VINCENT was thankful for HENRY's MEAT PIE, so he told HENRY a very UGLY story about Queen MORTICIA's daughter LOU-ANNE. How her mother, the SHINY Queen MORTICIA, kept her locked away in a GYM protected by a gigantic BABY PIG, because LOU-ANNE was so GINORMOUS.

HENRY SHAT. He vowed to SWOLLEN VINCENT the LIGHTHOUSE KEEPER that he would save the GINORMOUS LOU-ANNE. He would CRUCIFY the BABY PIG, and take LOU-ANNE far away from her eveil mother, the SHINY Queen MORTICIA, and PELVIC THRUST her.

Then, all of the sudden, there was a ORGASMIC SNOW STORM and SWOLLEN VINCENT the LIGHTHOUSE KEEPER began to laugh. With a puff of smoke he turned into the gigantic BABY PIG from his story. SHINY Queen MORTICIA RAN out from behind a FLAMING DILDO and struck HENRY dead. In the far off GYM you could hear a BUZZ.

THE END.

Make your own Fairy Tale at fuali.com

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copy-paste, copy-paste, copy-paste, copy-paste. [22 Jun 2003|05:55pm]
[ mood | restless ]
[ music | no$trolls$more$souls! ]

Hoots told me the best joke last night.

How do you stop a clown from laughing?
















Axe him in the face.

Now at first I was offended because you see, I love homicidal clowns suffering of dementia. But then I realized... normal clowns... yuck.

"I only axed you a question!"

I'm not sure what I'm doing today. I don't have any plans. Perhaps if mumzy and pops aren't too hung over from last night I can invite a few of my peers over to watch some movies. I have to get a membership at Capitol video first, as I learned last night. I can't do that without a consensual adult. As if because I'm 16, I'm not responsible... as if I'm white I'm a racist... as if I'm male I'm a female oppressor... stereotypes... yuck.

Chris Evans left me a donut in my mailbox. Mumzy found it... I think she ate it. That's fine with me. She's napping now. Oh mother... when will you learn? Sunday's are good for nappings, so I can respect that.

Mother and father's friends are really fun. If I wasn't say... 16, I'm sure I'd have no trouble at all socializing with them. At least when they're drunk, anyway... Otherwise they're just cranky old men and women.

I'm so glad I'm straight edge. I'm so glad I'm not a drug addict or an alcoholic or unable to quit smoking. Thank you Minor Threat, I'll send you a card sometime.

People keep asking me how the shows went. Why don't you go back in time and see for yourself? -shakes loose fist in a John Barbour fashion-

Perhaps I'll dye my hair green and become the joker for a while? at least on the outside. Not that I'd wear purple suits... suits... pft, how gay. I'm just partial to clowns, as we all know. How can anyone be afraid of them? They're just people in makeup who commit brutal acts of murder. But when they take their makeup off they're just like anybody else. Why isn't everyone afraid of the potential risk of everyone killing them? Naive, poor fools!

I've not much more to say just now. It's too hot out. I disenjoy summer weather. Unless at night, then it's positively perfect.

I've an idea... today I'll go thrifting! Then I'll do something fun, like say... karate kick a stranger on the street. Yes, yes, I will have a grand time. A grand theft auto time anyway.

Why am I still here after last night? Oh well, these things happen.

Do you read this? Of course you do, you're reading right now... but am I aware, is a better question. I don't mind, just curious, flattered even. Just wondering is this journal is underground and tucked away in some vaginalike crevice or if it's at the top of the world. Feel free to add me as a friend.... we all do need friends. Except the boogieman... he's a real jerk.

A real jerk.

Fuck... what am I... crazy?

2 pressed charges. | post comment

Huzzahbuzz. [22 Jun 2003|04:51am]
[ mood | accomplished ]
[ music | RHL - Speedloader ]

Well now that all of that's over... rad. Now I've just gotta clean up the mess.

You know, I've been thinking... I get shit on far more than I deserve. I know I've done some things that really aren't nice... but I try to be a nice person. I try to be a good friend and a lot of times people don't realize what I am sacrificing for them. If you don't want to be a friend of mine... just say it. Grade school-he said-she said really isn't my thing.

Now I know that I'm not completely alone. And I know that I have very good friends like Blaine and my mother and father would and have been there for me through thick and thin. I think a really good example of friendship was today when the guys in Nerve Attack played the show. They're idealistic, I know, but they're realistic - which I respect even more. And they really saved me in this situation. As did the trailer camp, I was so happy to get Jamie's message today saying that the trailer camp could play. Jon Hynes sacrificed study time to play and that is like... so fucking awesome. Same with i luv u, steve abbot really saved the day when Geinus dropped out. He's a good guy, gave me a few laughs at the show where I really needed them. I sincerely hope he didn't damage Jamie's drum equipment, though. I know I told him to take it easy on them... but he was pretty drunk. That's another thin- Jamie is so fucking awesome! All this week he's been here and done nothing but help me out! I think the only way I can repay is by letting him deflower my ass. The drapes, too... really saved the day. They're so fucking fun, man! I'm gonna miss Jeff! Blaine lent me money again today; I'll pay him back. I really will. I must. I just had to support the RHL more... I really let them down, I know regarding the turn out of the show. But I can't blame myself. I did everything I could... learned a lot... etc. Man, talk about a show gone all wrong. There should be a movie about my experiences with these two shows. Seriously, a black and white one like clerks kinda.

Today was a really fun day. Probably one I'll really remember for a long time to come. Played basketball... got Rose drunk... played to a crowd of 8 people who refused to move... discovered capitol video... met the RHL... I dunno, man, it was just a really eventful day and I know that every single thing is something I'll be able to laugh about years from now. I'm laughing thinking about some of the events.

This entry started really sad because I was really sad. But then I changed that. I'm really glad I have the things I do... Rational thinking is a huge part of my life now. Like... cognitive therapy in a way. Another huge part of my life, I'm finding... is necrophilia! I think I might've seriously frightened a few people tonight. Rad.

I also met the guy that's going to sing in ZE tonight. He's an older, cooler kind of guy. I felt intimidated and like a bit of an idiot because I think he might've expected me to be a bit older or at least older looking. Heh I think it all comes down to my inferior physique! He's a pretty buff dude, heh.

Man, I'm so fuckin' tired.

Couldn't find f-zero for Chris again. Holy shit! I searched for over an hour again in my room! Did the bread goblins steal it? Did bump in the night eat it? What's going on!! I'm trying to avoid being a big sketch face but ah! I couldn't find it! I'm leaving 3 other super Nintendo games in the mail box with a note explaining to him that he will get the game. That I'll find it tomorrow and drop it off to his place.

This entry wasn't intended to be along, just had to get some thoughts out there. You know, the int0rweb.

I'm really tired. I don't even think I have enough energy to pick up a pen and write Chris a note.

My dad's band is good.

I owe mom a whistle... I forget it at McMurdos. :/

Sleep now.

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PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE COME [20 Jun 2003|06:05pm]
[ mood | scared ]

ALL AGES SHOW... TOMORROW!!
Saturday, June 21st @ McMurdo's


Come see the RED HOT LOVERS from Edmonton, Alberta

with guests:
Nerve Attack
Geinus
The Drapes
and TMFI
!

4:00 start
$6


All money goes straight to the bands unless you buy something at the bar.

Support your scene!

If you like rock music at all, come down to the show and check this out.

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I just made a rational non-depressive decision. [16 Jun 2003|07:35am]
[ mood | exanimate ]
[ music | Devo - Satisfaction ]

I don't think life is cut out for me. I'm really not good at it.

At the next TMFI show I'm going to go insane beyond the levels of healthy adrenaline release. I just get an image of me throwing a mic stand against a wall playing over and over in my head.

Maybe I'll feel better after the show, but as it stands I've made my decision. I'm not sure if I'll follow through with the original plans yet or not. I don't want this to be an upset. I'll start getting what I need soon.

Hey, you know what? I fucking hate every single person living and breathing on this planet right now. I hope you're happy. I'm not.

I have no idea why I take such a pause between each paragraph, it's not like they're tiring me.

There's no going back now.

I've got more to say before I'm satisfied with this entry. But there's actually not much more I can say. Guess I'll stay dissatisfied for now.

Forget about it.

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I should pick one up. [15 Jun 2003|03:12pm]
[ mood | rejuvenated ]
[ music | Dead Milkmen, The - Stuart ]

Things aren't going too well. I have no idea as to why I'm typing this with a smile. I guess watching the movie "Zombie" last morning really lifted my spirits and prepared me for the dangers that is the world you and I live in.

Things last night were very fun. Particularly at the mall when us Booth kids got to break free from our social chains and become the gaming nerds we truly are. So Blaine, Venom and I went to see dumb and dumber and then stayed in the arcade 'til the brink of closing.

We played House of the dead for a long time and I think I'm in a stage in my life where a gaming addiction is completely necessary. I mean... its cigarettes, necrophilia or games. It could be a mixture of all three. You should feel proud.

Dumb and Dumber got dumb and dumber as it went on. It was just humor based around 'special' kids. I liked the last one (I think?) because it was simply based on them being dense. Being dense and not being mentally delayed. That part made me sad. People shouldn't have to go through that. And they shouldn't be laughed at for it.

Methinks.

Peter and I spoke last morning for a while. He's very ideological. We spoke for a while but anarchism and our futures and the possibility of a commune. It was a good talk; I seriously had a ball. I think I've decided for sure what I want to "be".

I'm not going to tell you what.

I changed my "HOT or NOT" profile, though. This may interest you... wait... by you, I'm really talking to myself. So to be honest I don't care if you, the reader, are not amused. In fact... fuck you. Zombies will be my only friends. Um... oh yeah... profile jizazz...

"I am a lonely, elderly man nearing the last of his years. I am very rich. Gotta run! Must be off to die now.

P.S. I am rich like whoa. Very rich and very dying."

I should wear that shirt I made saying, "I'm with AWESOME" with an arrow pointing to my face. Well, it's actually just that written on a napkin in crayons and taped to my shirt. D.I.Y. or D.I.E.!...?

How could all these years have passed and me not know that I'm a social miscreant? Seriously, I'm the guy that says inappropriate, random things that everyone wishes would just shut up. I had no idea before. Now I know. And I hate everyone for it! Really. I'm feeling pretty bitter and angry right now. Did I already say fuck you?

I did, in fact.

These shows are going to be the death of me, literally, they're going to tighten their hands around my esophagus and choke me until I cannot breathe anymore and die. I'm so frustrated with them. So many people aren't going because of the venue, despite how Luc's not getting a cent from anyone that's paying to get in. He makes all of his money off of the bar. And I don't give a shit if you think otherwise. If you're not going, I seriously demand you give the Nasty On $6 of your own money when you see them. They don't deserve this.

The Red Hot Lovers show is also mega sketchy right now. Good To Go dropped out after Mike was double booked and is playing in Stephenville with Hero Gets Girl. Guess who else is going with Hero Gets Girl? Last Line is. Tyson forget the date of the show, apparently. He was under the impression that it was in July. I'm 99.9% sure that Not Enough Bullets won't be playing now due to the venue. So aside from Geinus and the Red Hot Lovers, there's not much of a show as it stands right now. I need replacement bands and quick.

I emailed Liz Pickguard last night and in a long, long essay type message, asked her if the Lizband would be interested in playing. I checked my mailbox today and I saw that I had a message from her. But in fact, it was on Gamberg. She had replied to Steve Guy's message calling all boycotters stupid for not going to the show (he said why!). She basically said that she wanted no part in even going in there. I feel like such an asshole now. I emailed her again and apologized saying I had no idea about her stance on the venue. But in all seriousness... being a boycotter... what would you do? If I'm going to lose a lot of money and fuck over a band from away, I at least want to know what I can do to avoid that next time. You know the saying? Live and learn? As I say all of the time? I need to learn, man. If this takes learning that all people are hypocritical scum that should be slaughtered, sodomized and then eaten raw... so be it. I need to get something out of this experience. Because seriously... I'm fucked.

It would be so much better if I left my entry at that, but I feel I've more to say. I don't even have an idea as to what just yet. But I need to vent, or at least release the crap that was in my mind at some point in the past few days.

Watching zombie last night, I saw them depict a guy dying of disease. His eyesight first blurred, then faded and his body felt numb. Watching that made me think that that's how I want to die. Not with a bullet to the head. No, not at all. That's graphic. That's too much. I don't have time in that situation to feel what it feels like to actually die and I want that. Not in the suicidal, crazy way, now. It's a part of life, a big part. I want to see if it's worth all of the hype and also feel what it's like to fall into the deepest slumber I could ever not even comprehend.

Know how I've got this obsession with changing show lineup's to create the "ultimate bill"? Well, I did it again. Realizing that Dan won't be here on July 8th, which is precisely when the venue is booked, I changed it around a little. I think doing these things is like playing with Barbie?s to me. It plays with my fantasies and then I actually go out and make them happen. Which can be, as I'm learning now, very fucking stressful. What am I talking about? Learning now? I learned that first time around. I'll continue to put them off, though. Not for people like you, though. For me. Because I don't care about you and I wish you'd get out of my life forever and a day. Excuse that AFI reference; I honestly just needed to make some sort of punk point to get my point across. I said point twice. Hilarity.

Again, I forget to post the actual meaning behind the paragraph...

Tuesday, July 8th @ Corps?s Christi Perish Hell
theKILLING
TMFI
The Peepholes
Call Off The Rescue
And maybe...
Zombie Etiquette
$5 - 5:00 PM

COTR is seriously growing on me... I was listening to the mp3s I had last night and really enjoying them. I don't care if you don't like them, so much that I'm even pointing it out right here in this journal entry. But yes, I like them, I really do. Which is saying something, because that is seriously not normally my kind of music. I mean, I'm listening to Ill Repute right now and it's bugging me because it's sounding rather whiney.

The Good To Go reunion show is still going ahead. I asked Mike when he wanted it to happen and his answer was early July. Well that just can't happen Mike. :P My previously planned show comes first. And there's no room in between all of the shows booked in early July for you. So it seems that Friday, July 25th is the date that will be made officially as "Good To Go Day". Seriously, the mayor's giving me the city's key and everything. The lineup he wants goes as follows...

Good To Go
STN (from Carbonear)
Under Authority
taxidriver.
and
Hero Gets Girl

I will comply.

Because I make dreams come true.

You should be hearing the crypt keeper cackle right now.

If you don't, the boogieman is seriously coming to get you.

Nor hearing it is very bad omen.

The boogieman rips off your ear first and then finger fucks your brains. What he does after that is unspeakable.

Really, it is. That's why I'm not going to speak of it. Perhaps Adam will, though. We're planning on starting a horror folk band with perhaps a tiny element of psychobilly. Adam's going to do vocals a-la deadbolt and tell stories. This experience is going to be awesome; his mind is seriously a twisted place to dwell upon. I mean, come on! He's so metal! I'm calling him Venom unintentionally nowadays. I never realized how uber 1337 he was before now either. That's too bad, I was missing out. We had a movie borrowing trade thing. Hence why I saw "Zombie" last night. I hope he enjoyed "The Stuff". Back on topic, we're going to get Kyle or someone who looks like Kyle to play accordion in it.

I bought the movie "Army Of Darkness" just the other day. Oh man! I can't believe I wasn't curled over in laughter the moment it came on! I was expecting something so much more different, it took me awhile to catch on that it was all just one big funny joke.

Ash is so fucking awesome! Like Duke Nukem but hot! He doesn't continuously repeat his clever puns throughout the movie, either.

Ash 11
Duke Nukem 3

Yes, I have been comparing their lives over the past few years in a competitive aspect. Yes, I have dedicated my life to finding out who would own j00 first. Yes, I am awesome.

I should do something today like poster MUN. I think I shall. After that I'll head on down to the dirt mall and check out what's hizappening. I may buy a super Nintendo as mine's fucked in the ass. And of course, I'll buy a horror movie. I'll also pass posters around to the masses, random strangers if I must, and order them to cover their school in a new kind of wallpaper. I can't think of anything clever to say describing the new kind of wallpaper other than that it should be obvious that I'm talking about the flier for the Nasty On show.

I hope they have Sega Dreamcasts at the flea market. I've got like $5; I should pick one up.

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